HAPPY NEW YEAR — It's time once again to ring in the new year with a series of passing statements that you probably won't follow through on. That's right, a new year of misplaced enthusiasm, rampant price speculation, and unkept promises is just beginning, and The Rug is bringing you the best because we take Top 10 lists, seriously. Buckle up:

10. Spring clean my “hidden” tab on OpenSea (without getting scammed)

9. Show my face at work

8. Find out what "DAO" really stands for

7. DM Ethan Totenky

6. Make JPEGs great again

5. Start my own centralized crypto exchange with the motto, “Your keys, my crypto”

4. Work on my alibi

3. Find that sticky note with my seed phrase on it

2. Uncover the true identity of Satoshi Nakamoto

1. Get my money back

There you have it, our top ten list of moderately ambitious things that you may or may not do in 2023. Stay safe out there, anon.

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