WILMINGTON — Local father and part-time investor Arthur Cauldron brought together his family on Friday evening for a family meeting. After resolving who was responsible for the stain on the living room carpet, he announced to his three teenagers that future allowance payments would be in the CEL token.

Cauldron reported his kids staring at him blankly after the proclamation while his wife Mary asked, “Is this one of those bullshit crypto things?”

“This is a great opportunity for you all to learn about cryptocurrency and invest in your future,” Arthur says he added, “after we spend the weekend reviewing digital wallet options, decentralized exchanges, and wallet security options.”

During the discussion, Cauldron noticed two of the three teens scrolling on their phones while the third asked if they can buy games on Steam with CEL. Cauldron expected excitement over his offer for 50 CEL a week to each of his children. Instead, he found himself defending having the failed company token to both his wife and his kids. "Look, even though you can't buy games with it, nor can we use it to pay bills, it was a sound investment when I bought $50k worth of it last year," he explained.

Cauldron's eldest son explained to his siblings that 100 CEL is about $10 and has been steadily declining. There were a round of groans and eye rolls given that they had been paid $20 a week prior to this development.

No chores had been completed by press time.

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