SAN SALVADOR — Earlier today, El Salvador’s government announced that it will mint a copy of their country’s Constitution as an NFT on the bitcoin blockchain.

“Someday, bitcoin will host a distinct global culture that will rival Ethereum,” President Nayib Bukele proclaimed. “We think that culture should be El Salvadoran.”

Another anonymous government spokesman defended the unusual use of funds with the most succinct bull case possible for Ordinal NFTs: “In twenty years, we will all either be rich or dumb. Here in El Salvador, we say ‘Por que no los dos?’”

Bitcoiners are not taking the news well.

“This isn't how bitcoin should be used,” Michael Saylor explained. “We don’t like NFTs, or smart contracts, or any of this artsy-fartsy stuff. Bitcoin is a currency. The citizens of the world need to quit finding artistic and profitable ways to use our blockchain. They can take that nonsense somewhere else.”

Many commenters on Twitter agreed.

“The whole point of bitcoin is to obviate centralized governments,” @TakeTheOrangePill posted before adding: “El Salvador can suck it lol”.

A small percentage of bitcoiners are meeting the news with open arms.

“Bitcoin culture already sucks,” Mark Cuban said. “We could honestly use a little more of the El Salvadorans’ joie de vivre.”

Bitcoin is down 3% on the day.

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