PHOENIX - Steve Bogan, a real lowlife scumbag, is getting larger airdrops than you are.

Bogan, who is known to pick up items in the grocery store and then leave them wherever the fuck he wants to, has already gotten massive airdrops from Optimism, Hop, and ENS.

On-chain, Bogan looks like freaking Kevin Owocki. He has donated over two ETH in Gitcoin grants to a number of wonderful public goods projects that he couldn't give two shits about, and he's already reaped massive airdrop rewards as a direct result from those donations. Bogan doesn't belong in jail, but that's only because it's not technically illegal to play your shitty, loud music on the train without headphones, or to sell your ridiculously large OP airdrop on day one.

This dirtbag is getting bigger airdrops than you, and he's going to keep getting them. Bogan minted twelve Poolys, not because he gives a shit about saving Pool Together, but because he wants future airdrop teams to keep on thinking that he's a good person, despite the fact that he will ask for six different ice cream samples when he’s at the front of the line. He even asked for chocolate twice, because he "forgot what it tasted like."

Future airdrop teams will need to find a way to screen for pieces of shit who don't RSVP to a wedding, but then show up anyway with a plus one and no gift. But until that happens, Bogan will keep getting larger airdrops than you.

For more mostly credible Web3 news, follow us @therugnews or subscribe to our newsletter.