This Ethereum Investor Will Vaguely Explain The Merge to You

NEW YORK – Dylan Linder has been an Ethereum investor since Fall of 2020. Today, he gave our reporters a vague explanation of The Merge:

“So imagine that the old Ethereum is this congested highway and the new Ethereum is this other highway that’s also going to the same place, and then when The Merge happens it’s like… wait, hang on, let me start over.”

Linder took a deep breath and then began to explain how The Merge is going to change everything:

“Well, actually, nothing is going to change, per se, it’s just going to become Ethereum 2.0 all of a sudden. And actually it won’t be suddenly; it’s probably going to take some time.”

When asked for specifics about the time, Linder shrugged and said “I think anywhere between ten minutes to two days. Give or take.”  Then Linder stared into empty space before continuing his explanation:

“So Proof of Stake is where you can stake your Ethereum, and you earn interest from it. But you can’t actually spend it, or even move the Ethereum at all for like a year or something.

“Right now, minting a single NFT burns about an acre of rainforest, which sucks to be honest. But after The Merge, Ethereum is going to be carbon neutral. In fact, I think it’s actually going to become carbon negative, because of how the carbon credits are going to be on the blockchain, and something with the tokenomics of it all.

“Gas fees are going to come way down because of the Merge. Because you won't have to be, uhh, paying the miners anymore. But you do have to pay the stakers, just not as much as the miners. And the miners are going to become stakers, too.”

The Ethereum investor continued:

“The Merge is all part of the Ethereum Roadmap which Vitalik has been working on since day one. So he’s going to basically send out a signal to all the validators that, um, it’s time to go ahead with The Merge. And that’s when things get really interesting…”

(Linder did not elaborate further on this point).

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