Mom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff

GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis.

Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.”

Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were excited about joining FerretDAO. The mission, as you explained, was to raise crypto to be spent on ferret manis and pedis. “Ferrets are cute and need nail care too,” your mom replied, “but I don’t understand what that has to do with Daoism.”

Discussions with your father have only been marginally more successful. Last time you spoke to him, he asked, “So what is it about a smart contract that makes it so smart?” Excited that he asked a good question, you went on to explain how a smart contract is “smart” since it automates a particular transaction type via code embedded on a blockchain. In response, your dad said, “So…how about that NBA draft?”

Just when resigned yourself to never discuss crypto with your family again, your grandma sent you a text. It read, “Still bullish on BTC, SEC can go to hell.” Before you can process her understanding of the space, previously unknown to you, she sends a second text:

“Prolly gonna HODL my DOGE, dump the CEL. Thoughts?”

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