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The Rug

The Rug

Web3's mostly credible news source. We take money, seriously.
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Markets Rally on News SHIB and DOGE Expecting Puppies

Publisher
The Rug
August 25
DOWNTOWN — In the volatile and unpredictable world of cryptocurrencies, where virtual assets frequently adopt the guises of dicks, butts, HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu and even ugly ass primates, two coins have unapologetically seized the spotlight, captivating not just investors but also fervent devotees: SHIB and DOGE.
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SBF Sent to Jail for Punchable Face Violation

Publisher
The Rug
August 18
PALO ALTO — Currently living with his parents while out on bail pending trial, Sam Bankman-Fried, aka SBF, was arrested on Friday when his bail was revoked by Judge Lewis Kaplan. According to court records, Kaplan noted, "a flagrant disregard for the court’s order to ensure the public display of his physical appearance does not compel others to violence."
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Petty Thugs Look for Curve CEO

Publisher
The Rug
August 11
LONDON — Curve CEO Michael Egorov owes money all over the blockchain. The DeFI guru is 80 M in debt, leveraged to his eyeballs, and staring down the barrel of a margin call shotgun.
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Twitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform

Publisher
The Rug
August 04
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla.
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Crypto Newbies Tired of Hearing About "Good Ol' Days" from Guy Who Got in Two Years Ago

Publisher
The Rug
July 29
TULSA — At the “Crypto-Curious” Meetup group, new attendees are already voicing concern about existing member, Joshua Stanton.
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Mom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff

Publisher
The Rug
July 22
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis.
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MicroStrategy Acquires All the Bitcoins, Unsure What’s Next

Publisher
The Rug
July 14
TYSONS CORNER — On June 23, at roughly 8 am EST, MicroStrategy purchased 245 BTC at an average price of $29,860 per bitcoin, completing their goal of acquiring all of the existing bitcoins.
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BlackRock Buys Majority Stake in You

Publisher
The Rug
July 07
NEW YORK CITY — BlackRock, the world's largest asset management firm, has announced its acquisition of a majority share in a promising start-up: you.
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Crypto Whales Face Extinction

Publisher
The Rug
June 30
INTERNATIONAL WATERS — In the depths of Twitter Blue, there exists a reclusive and often misunderstood species known as the "crypto whale." The scientific community knows relatively little about these digital behemoths, but one thing is certain: they may soon face extinction.